Judgement Day

Mrs. Sally Noname (as referred to in my earlier post) is a real person(s). She is my nosey neighbor, my generous friend, or the lady in the grocery store that ticks me off so much I need to rant about her. Today she is my friend, and I was going to send her this in an email, but I feel it may be better served as a eye opener for anyone who is willing to read it. Never judge another mother.

Dear Sally,
It was great seeing you today, I am amazed that you and Sally Jr. could meet us at the park last minute. Wish we could have talked a bit more, but play dates with 2 year old are more like an aerobic class, right?

As you saw, Daniel took a turn for the worst toward the end. He lost control, and I lost my patience. When my son has 'bad days' it is very hard for both of us. I am getting to the point where I can tell when he wakes up if he is 'here' today or not. I knew today was going to be a struggle and tried to intervene by getting out to the park. Thinking some physical activity would change the pace of the downfall that started this morning. I am admitting that I was wrong.

I could see the change is Daniels eyes when he and Sally Jr. were running up and down the hill. One moment he was with us, and then he was gone. Please understand that without words, and not being able to communicate, when Daniel 'goes away' I fear he is all alone in a very sad, dark place in his head.

You were wonderful when he had his melt down.. Offering help, and asking what I needed from you. Not telling me what I was doing wrong, or what you would do differently. I appreciate that. I also want you to know that as you walked away, and I yelled at the top of my lungs at Daniel- it was out of fear. My worst fear in times like that is him banging his head on the concrete. Wearing Nora, and fighting with him, it was very hard to control that. I want so badly to do it all right, but I know it is just not realistic. Please know I apologised to Daniel when we got home for yelling.

I am getting the hang of this, through trial and error, but it is great to know I have friends who support (not judge) me along the way.

Love,
Ashley